Seemantham is often known as the traditional baby shower. In truth though, Seemantham and baby shower are two very different events – not because one is traditional and the other is Western, but because the focus of each celebration is very different. For Seemantham, the focus is on the mum-to-be while the baby shower focuses on the baby. Seemantham is a family centric event with both parents and in-laws playing an equal part in organizing and celebrating it, while a baby shower is often organized by a select group of ladies close to the mum-to-be, be it her mum, sisters, cousins, friends or even colleagues. Gifts for Seemantham are for the mum-to-be and gifts for the baby shower are a combination of gifts for the mum and the baby.

A special note is to be made that there are many variations to Seemantham simply because these traditions have evolved greatly over time along with our changing lifestyles. Seemantham used to be one of the 3 or 4 separate events celebrating the mum-to-be, but today, all of these are combined as one and celebrated in a single occasion in the 5th, 7th OR 9th month of pregnancy.

Having attended two Seemanthams in a span of 3 weeks, I decided to pen this article as a general guide to ladies wanting to organize the event. There are two versions of this – one where the Seemantham is conducted at a temple, for which the Priest provides all the guidance on the things to be prepared and done; and the other where the Seemantham is conducted at the bride’s parents’ home and for which this article is intended.

As a working document, I will be improvising this with feedback and inputs from friends, so do provide your ideas if any.

To start this off, here’s the list of things that need to be prepared:

  1. 3 or 5 or 7 types of rice dishes – to be cooked in moderate quantities. Examples are tamarind rice (pulihora), lemon rice, yoghurt rice, sweet rice, mango rice, coconut rice, dhall rice, etc.
  2. 3 or 5 or 7 types of chutneys (thogayal) - example coconut chutney, pudina chutney, coriander leaves chutney, etc
  3. A medium (one feet in diameter) round tray of raw rice mixed with turmeric powder
  4. A medium round tray of flower petals (daisies, chrysanthemum, rose etc)
  5. A medium round tray with a rose water dispenser, and 2 small steel bowls holding kumkum powder and sandalwood powder paste
  6. A young coconut and a fitting tray and a large cleaver knife for cutting off the tender top
  7. Grapes, raisins, mangoes or traditional Indian sweets cut into tiny bits (bite-size sweets)
  8. A set(2) of golden/silver bangles (optional)
  9. A neem leaf bangle (made by typing a sprig of neem leaves into a bangle-like shape)
  10. A tray of glass bangles (about 80)
  11. In-house music set-up (soothing mantras and some contemporary music thereafter)
  12. Decorated dais
  13. Tokens/return gifts for ladies invited to the event
  14. 5 meters of thin jasmine garland
  15. Ground prayer arrangement (refer picture) comprising of 2 traditional oil-light stands with wicks and oil; 1 kg rice, 5 betel leaves and betel nuts, Kamakshi oil lamp with prayer oil and wick, a tray with soodam dish(with soodam) and dubakal (with sambrani), 2 whole old coconuts dehusked, mango leaves and 1 traditional water pot; these items are readily available in most Indian/Hindu homes
  16. Vegetarian food for attendees

A good day and a good time is determined (by checking the Hindu calendar or by consulting the Priest). Invitations are then sent to everyone.

Earlier in the day of the ceremony, the 3, 5 or 7 rice dishes are prepared in moderate quantities and kept tightly covered. About 2 tablespoons of each dish is then wrapped in an opaque cloth (bright colored) and tied.

At the same time, food for guests is cooked. All dishes must be vegetarian. Some families cater the food for guests, in which case the additional cooking is unnecessary. Some of the common choices of food for Seemantham/Valaikappu in Malaysia today are: biryani rice/ghee rice, dhall curry, vegetable kurma, tauhu sambal, masala potato, vegetarian meat dishes, acar, fried cabbage, deep-fried cauliflower, dhall vadai, urad dhall vadai, idiapom, beehoon, currypuffs and traditional Malay kuihs.

The dais is set-up. Rangoli (muggalu/kolam) is drawn at the entrance of the house. A small tent is erected and extra tables and chairs as well as a buffet table is set up.

A few hours before the ceremony, the mum-to-be is bathed in water mixed with turmeric, neem and flowers. She is then adorned in her wedding saree along with jewellery and flowers. The father-to-be also puts on his wedding attire.

As guests start to arrive, the prayer arrangement is made in front of the dais (see picture). Gift trays (for gift tray ideas – refer https://www.ramaprabha.org/posts/2019-seemantham-valaikappu-guide-for-guests) brought by guests are arranged in a beautiful display in front of the dais. The cooked rice dishes, the tray of glass bangles, the tray of loose flower petals and turmeric rice are then arranged close to the dais. The bite-size sweets are also placed here.

The ceremony begins with the entrance of the mum-to-be with the father-to-be. The mum-to-be is seated on the dais and the father-to-be initiates a prayer by breaking a coconut and lighting up the Kamakshi oil lamp. He then lights the soodam and sambrani and encircles the prayer arrangement 3 times.

After this, he breaks the young coconut and presents the coconut water for the mum-to-be to drink. He then feeds her a piece of the bite-sized sweets.

Once this is done, the mother and the mother-in-law of the mum-to-be take turns to start the blessing ceremony. It starts with the sprinkling of rose water on the mum-to-be, rubbing of a little bit of the sandalwood paste on her forearms, and placing of kum kum powder on her forehead. The mums will then gift a set of special bangles (made of gold or silver) to the mum-to-be. This is also where the neem leaf bangle is put on her wrist. They then feed her the bite-sized sweets along with teaspoons of the rise dishes and lastly, they sprinkle the turmeric-mixed raw rice and loose flower petals on her.

The same ritual is then repeated by every married lady invited to the ceremony. In the place of the special bangles, these ladies put on the provided glass bangles, one on each hand of the mum-to-be and they present their gift trays, and go on to feed the sweets and sprinkle the flowers and rice. At the end of each lady’s turn, the mum-to-be will present them with a token/return gift. Examples of return gifts are the thali/kumkum/turmeric set, brocade material, small copperware/silverware, bangles, gift cases/boxes, etc.

After everyone has blessed the mum-to-be and fed her a fair amount of sweets, the mum-to-be now has to pick one small bundle of the many small bundles of rice dishes tied in an opaque cloth. Belief has it that sweet dishes denote a baby girl and savoury dishes denote a baby boy. In modern days, the gender of baby is already known to many, but the ritual is maintained nevertheless for symbolic reasons, and also to add a little fun to the whole event.

Soon after, lunch/dinner for guests will begin. Photoshoot continues and all the fruits and sweets from the gift trays are distributed. Menfolk come in to congratulate the mum-to-be and the father-to-be, and more photoshoots take place.

Once formalities end, fun takes over. More chit chat, more eating and more music. That more or less, concludes the Seemantham/Valaikappu event.

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