Hi guys - have your ever found yourself at a funeral of a relative and you not having visited the person even once in the last umpteen years?

Well, I had the privilege of finding myself in this situation a couple of days back. Second time this year. It did feel awkward and weird so I did some thinking as to why this happens and here's something I can share.

Turns out that most people we know, as they get older, will be with a care-giver family. Like grandpa could be with the youngest aunt and family. Grandma with the oldest cousin and family, etc. How the arrangements come to be is of course a topic of historical discourse and we can't go in there without some people shooting out of the roof or killing someone else. So we take it as it is.

And so, if our family doesn't get along well with the care-giver family or we are not on talking terms or there's an old unsettled family feud or sometimes just some silly cold war where no one over here speaks to anyone over there, then, we lose all access to this person. No making calls or popping over, cause you know...we are kind of not welcome. Unless you are shameless, of course.

And then, one day, the person dies. Now, death seems to be stronger than most family feuds, and since no one actually gets invited to funerals (most cultures expect you to 'receive' the news and just turn up), the shame and anxiety of showing up evaporates momentarily and we find ourselves at the funeral.

So really, it's quite a natural phenomenon. And it is bound to happen. Nothing to do with our relationship with the person who died, but more on the diplomatic ties between the wider families.

If there's a take-away from this, for us who are still young, don't condone quarrels among the younger generation because the road can get a bit lonely when no one is talking to anyone. Especially when you plan to live long. And God lets you. Ha..ha..